Inspiration
Hit&Run in the Straits
The first moment I read and saw the pictures, I was thinking to myself, "Where's the other ship? Who knew there would be a hit and run in the Straits as well!"
Not to be feared my friends. They are being halted in Port Dickson for questioning. ;) Hopefully those involved won't be too traumatized with the incident and factors on why it happened in the first place in the busiest strait of the world.
On the side note, Alhamdulillah for the past 2 days there have been no death cases reported on the pandemic virus here.
(Why am I being sooooo reporter-ish?)
Happy Belated Birthday, Daddy!
Happy Birthday my dearest Dad!
You have always been my inspiration and a reason for me to excel further in life.
Force
The one thing in my short list of "Things I remember in my Physics Class" would be force. Mr. Ang, a tall, lanky and soft spoken teacher would repetitively say "F maaaaaaa~" in a typical kampung Chinese intonation. Kononnya to help us with its equation of F=ma.
That's just a lame intro. ;)
You know you have a watchful force breathing on your neck behind you when you turn into your 20s and decisions for your 'better future' are still made for you, obviously forcefully. But I have to admit it's a little contradicting. You KNOW it's for the better, for the benefit of your 20 to 30 years time (InsyaAllah), but the fact that the WAY you're introduced to the matter of art is a little bit unacceptable.
It's the same feeling of a child in her primary school. She should be having fun playing tag at school, mural painting, become a scout or something. But the mother wants her to take ballet classes, the father wants her to take kung fu classes, the grandparents think they're overworking her etc. The kid is literally being pushed around for her 'better future'. She's not a thing, not an object you know.
This also comes from an article I read from NST today; children now are too di-manja-kan, parents being too watchful. In their 'determined' future of success, professionals predict it will happen otherwise. Decision making would be weak when in times it is needed most. In the end, a mistake that is NOT suppose to happen, just happened.
The same with changing teaching languages every freakin' 5 to 10 years! Wouldn't that actually make the country's future become predictable? 'Mirror, mirror on the wall, bla bla bla bla' is not needed to KNOW that it will become kelam-kabut in terms of choosing a language. Things like these are just like drug or vaccine tests. You need a long duration of time to observe holistically. If not, everything would go WRONG. Ok, that isn't necessarily a good example of a force, it is instead a kind of law. But you get the concept right?
I AM thankful for the effort. But as a person who can think with her own brain and should be able to decide and see what she wants (whether its sooner or later), a sudden drop of a basketful of skills and knowledge can leave you blind, blank and irritated! It's like you're suddenly lost! And with further misunderstanding and manipulation of words, you'll get uberly upset!
BUT, not until you realise and KNOW, this thingamajig is YOUR thing. That may take a few seconds, minutes, hours, or simply decades.
Live happily.
Happy Birthday!
Happy very berry belated birthday to my dearest Kaklong!
Bake more yummy muffins and smell like cookies. :D
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Happy 24th Birthday, Azmil!
He who bullies me should lose more weight. Haha!
Delayed Mourning
That was our last time together. Early June. You did me good protecting me from cold and wet weather. You gave me an illusion of a good figure, only at times. But most of all, I love the way you're wrapped around me just the way I like it.
Announcing the passing of my favourite jeans, a genuine Evisu skinny jeans that I could still proudly fit into even during crazy, wicked Alton Tower's trip.
I won't be able to replace you easily. If I could, probably a few inches bigger since you shrink so badly.
p/s: I loved you too much on first sight that you weren't even for sale yet at that time! See, I was the first in Glasgow to ever get you!
RIP
Bowling Tourney. With late boots. RIP boots.
Dancing? In London.
Budget model time in London.
Envied by many?
Holiday NOW! Now?
My holiday officially starts! Haha lambat tak? Sangat!
Anyway, forgive me for the upmost random and rude entry previously. With all the stress, hormone, bla bla bla that all goes together, you know the cocktail. Makes my ability to think waras-ly go down the drain. It's like I can see myself from afar as if doing what I'll be doing and doing what I think I should do, but knowing that it's wrong and it's just uncontrollable. Jig it? No? Takpa.
Ended my 6 weeks hospital attachment dah. Which means my SUMMER holiday starts now which ALSO means my gain-your-weight-regiment starts NOW! Waaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa! :'( I'm sure of it! I am!! I will start running again then. Yes I will (and yes I have tapi berhenti sebab.. malas? hehe)
Ok so tonight, I have to start/continue on my games yang tertinggal. Bye!
Again & Again
Is it wrong for me to say that I'm getting frustrated with everything that's been going on, especially when they go on repeat and shuffle and whatever the fuck the mode is.
We meant what we say when we say we need someone to share our lives with and here I am keeping myself captive. For what? For me to suffer alone? At these times that I need your upmost care and attention, you brush me off and become a mute. Who in their right mind would do what I'm doing, and just stay? No one. Because no, I'm not in my right mind.
And no, I don't fucking care anymore for writing this in my blog for the whole world to read. Because you already know about it. But you're a mute.
My head hurts, not crucially but differently; my body feels tired even after 10 steps, literally speaking; my stomach feels funny that I can't even breathe properly; I cry before I eat because I can't force myself to swallow even one pinch of bread; and that didn't even bother me. Why? Because it bothers me more to not be able to tell you. Why can't I tell you? Because you're a mute. Yes, a mute!
Why do you think this is even the best thing to do?? When it clearly isn't and never has been!
I'm not perfect!
I need cheesecake!
24 Hours Getaway
Friday, went to work like usual. Friday evening, packed my stuff. What for? For a 24 hours weekend getaway. Friday night, got on my ride. Where to? Port Dickson. Later on Friday night, BBQ.
Very early in the morning on Saturday, went to bed. HAHA
Saturday morning, had simple breakfast, went straight to the beach. Since the sun wasn't really out, the weather was just nice. It was raining, even. (So takdala hitam sangat. Belang sikit je. ;))And so we spent time at the beach until 3pm. 4pm, swimming pool. 6pm, shower.
Dinner, and later balik rumah.
The company was awesome. As always and will always be. Cheers for 8 years of friendship and more. I'm really grateful for everything. And of course I ask forgiveness for any of my indecency.
The moment I took my first step into home, stress welcomes me. I left for PD and I left all my stresses back home, and so they welcome me back.
Good night.
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- Izati
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