Stress over work is seriously nothing new. 

I feel like the time itself could swallow me while I go anxious on just thinking whether my plans would work and finally ended up procrastinating

The laptop is the devil. 
The room is the devil. 
The lighting is the devil. 
The table is the devil. 
The heating is the devil.

I remember telling myself, 
"Owh I have a week. That's more days than the previous test." 

And I swear there was a small voice in me saying, 
"We'll go to the library and study our butts off!" 

And another voice said, 
"The weather is so bad, we'll just stay at home and study." 


We ALL know home and study doesn't go well for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope I studied well for this. Owh God, crying won't even help. (Which is why I haven't! Pat in the back.)

While 'studying', the usual OCD for Facebook comes now and then. Happily scrolling down looking for updates that I KNEW wouldn't amuse me at all in the first place. When suddenly, I saw this name. The name I haven't even thought of, heard of, BOTHERED of for years. And I saw it. It wasn't even the owner's profile, it was just a mention. It's there. The name is there on Facebook.

I have to admit though there were a few mentions here and there over the second half of the year because of another kind of OCD person that really resembles her here. *Oops, did I let you guys know it's a HER? Sangat bimbo aku nih.* Being a photostat machine and a copy cat. But that's about it.

It disappeared from our lives (most of my close friends') because it chose to. For various stupid and idiotic reasons that only movie producers or novel writers can think of (and make it logically acceptable), making stupid decisions, irrelevant and nonsense excuses for God knows what, that I must confess, hurt me terribly considering how close we were before. 

However I must confess again, that it lasted only for a nanosecond before a feeling of DISGUST overwhelmed me. And till then, not one person would even mention the name.

"Owh tak tau lah apa jadi dengan dia."
"I don't even know or care dia hidup lagi ke tak."

Those are the usual answers given by friends when asked of its roundabouts. It could sound harsh to you, but it is up to that extent. And the existence of it is slowly erased from our minds.

If no one knows what I'm talking about, that's uber-ly good.

If anyone of you reading knows what I'm talking about, you might be thinking any of these;

"Referring to the person as 'it' sangatlah kejam, very inhumane and immature."
"I agree to every single word you say and please just forget about this 'it'!"

Or any other responses.

The hatred I have for it now is obviously gone as I can't really convey it into my writing successfully. Obviously because I wouldn't want to waste another Joule of my energy on hating it. I might as well just accept the fact, move on, give her what she wants and just get lost. Right?

And I don't think it would hurt me if this reaches to the concerned party, because I'm just voicing out the obvious of what has been happening for the last fucking 4 years and that 99% of my friends actually think of the same thing.

If one should feel sorry, it shouldn't be me.

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Taunton, Somerset

I started to get worried when my friends told me they've got emails from Boots accepting/rejecting their offers for summer placements. I was SURE I checked my email just that morning. But then they reassured me saying that Boots usually send their emails by waves, from North to South UK. 

So a few days ago I checked my various emails (it's hard to have lots of email addresses!) and woop-de-doo-dahhh! I got the wonderful email! Apparently it's from the west region. Erkkk, I have to get used to another accent. It says that I've been accepted for summer placement at St James Medical Centre in Taunton, Somerset.

Where the heck is Taunton, I have no idea. Google it yourself to know. I can't deny that I didn't put that choice in (without knowing where it was in the first place!). But it's better than getting a place in some highland.

I told me Mummy and Daddy and they said the place seems fine, judging from the pictures in the net. 

I will be going to take a peek during Winter break maybe right after class finishes or maybe for new year. Who knows, a small town in a small cottage, new year can be warm and cozy with good company. Haiih jangan berangan! Nanti tak jadi!

This is Taunton Castle. No, I won't be staying there.

The town centre I suppose. It looks so old-fashioned! I love!
It also reminded me of my family getaway when I was younger in Frasers.

That's where St James is I suppose. It's near the cricket stadium, by the river.

It's also near Dorothy Perkins retail outlet!! OMG!

I hope breathing in fresh air (anywhere apart from Scotland) would be nice. After all, I've been here for 2 years now and will be almost 3 next summer, and I haven't been anywhere particularly nice in UK! Apart from Alton Tower and London and Edinburgh where anyone would've been there at least once in their life times!

InsyaAllah it'll turn out alright. And I might experience just a little bit of fasting month during work in SUMMER! 

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Early Rise

Let's wake up extremely early tomorrow for Glasgow Games 2009!!!!

Hope I know what I'm doing. (-,-)

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Cucur adabi ikan bilis
Sos Lingam
Hot cup of tea (without sugar)

goes perfectly well with

Cold and windy rainy day
Post class test that is probably okay

Won't be perfect without the other. ;)

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Wallie in my Roomie

My room is full of stuff that I only have a small space the size of tikar sembahyang. The room isn't really small but I guess the layout must be a bit cacat. 

I can't really blame myself that my study table NEEDS to be (right) next to my bed. Otherwise I won't have a good light and I could only write under my shadow. 

I won't get a table lamp because if I do then a quarter of the table can't be used! Masalah betul. And I can't get a bigger table or else I don't have a floor to walk on! Sangat bermasalah. The main problem could probably be the penyidai thingy, taking all the space. That's me not having a dryer. Boooohooo.

Sooo, to sedapkan my hati, I have a warm double bed (but with an extremely annoying mattress), an antique-looking dressing table, a nice and new red book shelf, a wardrobe (not really a walk-in but you can crawl in behind them clothes and could fit more than TEN Popo(s)), a tall mirror, more shelves than I ever need, and an empty wall!!

Which is why I'm gonna sedapkan my hati MORE by decorating my boring, empty, white wall!!

No photos as of yet because its such a pain in the ass to even look into my room.

Terima Kasih Snapfish!! :)

p/s: Hmmm but it could make my room look more sempit than it is. I actually just thought of that. Hmmm. I need to find small pieces of mirrors to make it seem spacious. Woop! Kemahiran Hidup!

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Look! It's me!

This place is full of cobwebs!! 

Haven't been updating since summer holiday started. Haven't even been VISITING this 'pour out your heart place'. Guess I was having too much fun during summer! I doubt anyone remembers I have a blog. HAHA.

To sum up my summer break, I worked in a hospital as a pharmacy intern for 6 weeks. (-,-) Boring I know.

Right after I finished (I think), I went to PD with friends and got my first outdoor escape; sun, rain, waves, sand and all. COMPLETE! 
We were previously at the beach from 11 to 4 and then continued swimming in the pool till 6!

And then it was fasting month already. Catching up with friends and loved ones most of the time.

Buka puasa at Dewan Perdana

And then it's Raya and a week after that I was on my flight back to Glasgow! Short short summer. Tsk.

Raya at Linggi with witty family. FREESTYLE!

Time to say goodbye to my girls. ;(
All of us broke our curfews!

'Twas especially hard to say goodbye to him! :'(

This summer was the hardest to get over with. Who knew I would cry every night and morning. It's not like I don't have great friends in Glasgow! 

So now 7 weeks have passed on my first semester as a third year pharmacy student. Frankly speaking all is manageable and I'm not the only one saying that. I'm knowing more and more of my classmates. (Yes I think we're the only class who doesn't know our own mates). 

Aside from that I'm also doing a small business or a new hobby I might say. Hand made JEWELRY! All is doing well although my creativity isn't exactly outstanding. I'm a pharmacy student, what do you expect. 

Birthday present I made for Teera

Some of the rings I make

Hair clips are the easiest! 

A pendant! Look at the wires. Such an amateur! 

Friends have been telling me to do like a blog shop for my jewelries but I don't think that's a good idea. I won't be making deliveries, obviously! What happens if I lost them! Gosh, the horror. So no, now not yet. I've got a feeling it's a bit overpriced but my mum has been telling me "But you've brought it half way across the world so it should be that price!" Okayyyyy.

Putting aside all that, I'm quite occupied! With volunteer work, uni work etc. I can't complain though, I like them! 


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