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Happy New Year


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Happy Birthday, Fadzril!


To my dearest friend, Fadzril @ Popo


We have come a loooong long way.
Dari kurus ke gemuk ke kurus ke gemuk ke comel ke handsome..

Never in the same class, same sports, but we've remained close since 13.





You're a friend I'll always cherish.

Happy 21st Birthday!!!

You're finally legal! not like you care. :D


ILY & IMY!


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A Precious Gift..



Got a special, special gift for my 21st from one of the very few who really understands me, someone I can trust and share my problems with; the clown in my life, my support since young.

Unfortunately, I just realised I'm allergic to it.

But I'll treasure it dearly. 

The white gold is under guarantee for life.

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Snow in Glasgow!





Ribut!!



Looks like you're sprinkling icing sugar.



The aftermath this morning.



RANDOM: We made roti canai!

Dahl was the awesome-est!




The havoc..



And the result! Walaupun tak menjadi, what the heck. :)


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Happy out of my wits! And New Year!


I had a dispensing class test last week. Although the marks aren't counted towards the final, I was still worried on how I did. Four prescriptions to be done in 2 hours; I was done half an hour before time was up, and was second to leave.

This evening we had a feedback session on our test. Know how I did?

I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE CLASS GROUP TO PASS THE TEST!

YaAllah, alhamdulillah.... Syukurnya tak terhingga. Even if the test wasn't counted for, I was still happy, and still am! I got a positive mark, and I passed! Atas pagar betul-betul but heck, at least tak dapat negative marks. 

But I can't sleep peacefully yet. Marks for my anxiety essay is still not up yet. I'll get my Pharmacy Practice marks tomorrow. And I have another test on Thursday until I can say 'Merdeka!' for the semester! Can't wait..


For my dear Muslim brothers and sisters, Awal Muharram (the Month of Allah) 1431H is coming soon. May Allah swt forgive us of our sins over the year and may the year to come be full of goodness and virtue, insyaAllah. 


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Diet regime

Q: How do you lose 2 inches off your waist and 1.5 inches off your hip?

A: Simple.

Take an MPharm course available near you NOW!

:)

Yes, I just realised I lost that much measurement. It was yesterday that I realised it because I wore one of my skinniest skinnies and it's actually quite lose! I don't like it at all.

FACT: From University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS), it says people with apple-shaped bodies face more health risks when compared to people who are pear-shaped

So, know if you have a healthy waist to hip ratio HERE!

I'm pear and I have 0.71 ratio. That's healthy! :)


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Cat got you?


Called Mum just now. She told me a 2 meter long snake came into our house compound. (I have no idea how large it was, my mum was too excited telling the story.) 

And then she saw the snake made a U-turn. Why?



Because Tiki chased it away!!! HAHAHA. Who's the scaredy cat now, huh??
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No, not this cat. This is Gordon The Fat Cat. Very useless. 


Kesimpulannya: Bela kucing? Bukan! Kenalilah local bomba anda. :) 


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Summer calendar, already.

Previously stated, I will be doing my summer internship at Taunton, Somerset for two whole months. 


Good news is that I have a friend who has worked in a hospital there before and she said the place is absolutely safe, the weather is absolutely different than Scotland (definitely better!) and the people are absolutely nice. ABSOLUTELY!

Ok so the job starts on the June 14th next year and will probably end mid August. And then YAHOOOO I can go back home and enjoy the rest of my hopefully nice summer. Until the end of September, I'll be able to celebrate raya, spend time with family, friends and him. 

But like how I've always mentioned, jangan berangan, nanti sure tak jadi.....

So here's the downfall.

After I graduate, I'll have to pass a one year pre-registration training so that I can practice as a registered pharmacist (considering I pass the registration exam as well). That's the plan, aside from working for 5 years with UEM. It'll be easier if I get my practice license here right. 

That was just a plan. I never thought it through, never seen or studied through any documents I have to have etc. Turns out the dateline for pre-reg. course in Scotland would be June. Yes, June next year after I finish 3rd year.

After I apply, I go for my intern and get good impression (I have to get them from hospitals during the next semester as well) and after I finish I have to wait till September for the interview. 

INTERVIEW OF MY PRE-REG.! SEPTEMBER! 8th, 9th, or 10th. Fixed dates. No changing. OHMYGDRAGON.

Even if I get the earliest interview on the 8th, I'll jump on the next flight the following day (and I get to spend my birthday in the airway. How exciting.). Raya would be a few days after and I have till the final weekend of September to get my ass back into The Gloomy Glasgow. That's like what, 3 weeks only??? Sigh..

Haven't told my parents bout this yet. Yes I've told them I'll be in Taunton, but the interview part.. Not yet. I've told me love about it and I don't seem to have any feedback yet. Hmmmm.... I'm scared?

Just this gets me stressed. I get stressed so easily these days, I need to get a hold of myself! I'm actually worried about a handful of things that is just too personal, I can't share them here and I haven't told anyone yet. Not a single soul! Not until I get them sorted and figured out first or if not people would think I'm a psycho or something. 

I pray I'll stay well along this journey of mine and that the choices I make will be the best and will be understood and accepted by others. AMIN.



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BE QUIET ALREADY!


My laptop has been misbehaving lately. If at another time, I could really tolerate with it. But not now, when all this stress is going on. 

I don't know why but this noise just makes me a crazy person! I feel like I should be diagnosed with something! (damn these CNS lectures)

Maybe sebab habuk or ada something longgar ke apa ke, I don't knowwww.

You have no idea how sakit my right hand is right now for pukul-ing the poor laptop, with all my might I have to say. I even took my water bottle and hit the laptop numerous times. I carefully but surely toss it onto my bed or at worse times, onto the table. When I'm at loss I even hold my hands up to my ears and just cry.

The noise is just like the finishing touch, the cherry on top of my scoops and scoops of stress. And because of it, I fall over. I cry before I go to sleep. I abuse my own laptop. Because of a small thing. My goodness, I AM crazy. Aagh.

While all this is happening, while I was sobbing myself to sleep, there was even this particular thought in my head.
"If I were to be this impatient over a noisy laptop, and I smash it all over the place, I don't know how I'd handle my own kids." (If I'm lucky to get my own, of course).

Seriously, I just can't handle it!

What's doing my head in?


A couple of things:

The terrible weather

The cold I just caught and how inconvenient it is

The weeks that is left till winter break which are full of tests

The "read my mind, Imi" syndrome and the "I expect you to understand, Imi" syndrome. 
I don't have time for such nonsense

Most importantly,

The fucking laptop that's making stupid fucking noises after 5 minutes of switching it on.
Yes, I've actually banged the laptop on the table due to frustration


THIS IS MUCH MUCH WORSE 
THAN BEING ANXIOUS 
BEFORE MY TESTS START!!


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Forgotten


Stress over work is seriously nothing new. 

I feel like the time itself could swallow me while I go anxious on just thinking whether my plans would work and finally ended up procrastinating

The laptop is the devil. 
The room is the devil. 
The lighting is the devil. 
The table is the devil. 
The heating is the devil.

I remember telling myself, 
"Owh I have a week. That's more days than the previous test." 

And I swear there was a small voice in me saying, 
"We'll go to the library and study our butts off!" 

And another voice said, 
"The weather is so bad, we'll just stay at home and study." 

(...)

We ALL know home and study doesn't go well for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope I studied well for this. Owh God, crying won't even help. (Which is why I haven't! Pat in the back.)


While 'studying', the usual OCD for Facebook comes now and then. Happily scrolling down looking for updates that I KNEW wouldn't amuse me at all in the first place. When suddenly, I saw this name. The name I haven't even thought of, heard of, BOTHERED of for years. And I saw it. It wasn't even the owner's profile, it was just a mention. It's there. The name is there on Facebook.

I have to admit though there were a few mentions here and there over the second half of the year because of another kind of OCD person that really resembles her here. *Oops, did I let you guys know it's a HER? Sangat bimbo aku nih.* Being a photostat machine and a copy cat. But that's about it.

It disappeared from our lives (most of my close friends') because it chose to. For various stupid and idiotic reasons that only movie producers or novel writers can think of (and make it logically acceptable), making stupid decisions, irrelevant and nonsense excuses for God knows what, that I must confess, hurt me terribly considering how close we were before. 

However I must confess again, that it lasted only for a nanosecond before a feeling of DISGUST overwhelmed me. And till then, not one person would even mention the name.

"Owh tak tau lah apa jadi dengan dia."
"I don't even know or care dia hidup lagi ke tak."

Those are the usual answers given by friends when asked of its roundabouts. It could sound harsh to you, but it is up to that extent. And the existence of it is slowly erased from our minds.

If no one knows what I'm talking about, that's uber-ly good.

If anyone of you reading knows what I'm talking about, you might be thinking any of these;

"Referring to the person as 'it' sangatlah kejam, very inhumane and immature."
"I agree to every single word you say and please just forget about this 'it'!"
"OMG IT'S ALIVE??"

Or any other responses.

The hatred I have for it now is obviously gone as I can't really convey it into my writing successfully. Obviously because I wouldn't want to waste another Joule of my energy on hating it. I might as well just accept the fact, move on, give her what she wants and just get lost. Right?

And I don't think it would hurt me if this reaches to the concerned party, because I'm just voicing out the obvious of what has been happening for the last fucking 4 years and that 99% of my friends actually think of the same thing.

If one should feel sorry, it shouldn't be me.

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Taunton, Somerset


I started to get worried when my friends told me they've got emails from Boots accepting/rejecting their offers for summer placements. I was SURE I checked my email just that morning. But then they reassured me saying that Boots usually send their emails by waves, from North to South UK. 

So a few days ago I checked my various emails (it's hard to have lots of email addresses!) and woop-de-doo-dahhh! I got the wonderful email! Apparently it's from the west region. Erkkk, I have to get used to another accent. It says that I've been accepted for summer placement at St James Medical Centre in Taunton, Somerset.

Where the heck is Taunton, I have no idea. Google it yourself to know. I can't deny that I didn't put that choice in (without knowing where it was in the first place!). But it's better than getting a place in some highland.

I told me Mummy and Daddy and they said the place seems fine, judging from the pictures in the net. 

I will be going to take a peek during Winter break maybe right after class finishes or maybe for new year. Who knows, a small town in a small cottage, new year can be warm and cozy with good company. Haiih jangan berangan! Nanti tak jadi!



This is Taunton Castle. No, I won't be staying there.



The town centre I suppose. It looks so old-fashioned! I love!
It also reminded me of my family getaway when I was younger in Frasers.


That's where St James is I suppose. It's near the cricket stadium, by the river.


It's also near Dorothy Perkins retail outlet!! OMG!

I hope breathing in fresh air (anywhere apart from Scotland) would be nice. After all, I've been here for 2 years now and will be almost 3 next summer, and I haven't been anywhere particularly nice in UK! Apart from Alton Tower and London and Edinburgh where anyone would've been there at least once in their life times!

InsyaAllah it'll turn out alright. And I might experience just a little bit of fasting month during work in SUMMER! 

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Early Rise


Let's wake up extremely early tomorrow for Glasgow Games 2009!!!!


Hope I know what I'm doing. (-,-)

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Bliss

Cucur adabi ikan bilis
Sos Lingam
Hot cup of tea (without sugar)

goes perfectly well with

Cold and windy rainy day
Post class test that is probably okay

Won't be perfect without the other. ;)

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Wallie in my Roomie


My room is full of stuff that I only have a small space the size of tikar sembahyang. The room isn't really small but I guess the layout must be a bit cacat. 

I can't really blame myself that my study table NEEDS to be (right) next to my bed. Otherwise I won't have a good light and I could only write under my shadow. 

I won't get a table lamp because if I do then a quarter of the table can't be used! Masalah betul. And I can't get a bigger table or else I don't have a floor to walk on! Sangat bermasalah. The main problem could probably be the penyidai thingy, taking all the space. That's me not having a dryer. Boooohooo.

Sooo, to sedapkan my hati, I have a warm double bed (but with an extremely annoying mattress), an antique-looking dressing table, a nice and new red book shelf, a wardrobe (not really a walk-in but you can crawl in behind them clothes and could fit more than TEN Popo(s)), a tall mirror, more shelves than I ever need, and an empty wall!!

Which is why I'm gonna sedapkan my hati MORE by decorating my boring, empty, white wall!!

No photos as of yet because its such a pain in the ass to even look into my room.

Terima Kasih Snapfish!! :)

p/s: Hmmm but it could make my room look more sempit than it is. I actually just thought of that. Hmmm. I need to find small pieces of mirrors to make it seem spacious. Woop! Kemahiran Hidup!


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Look! It's me!


This place is full of cobwebs!! 


Haven't been updating since summer holiday started. Haven't even been VISITING this 'pour out your heart place'. Guess I was having too much fun during summer! I doubt anyone remembers I have a blog. HAHA.

To sum up my summer break, I worked in a hospital as a pharmacy intern for 6 weeks. (-,-) Boring I know.

Right after I finished (I think), I went to PD with friends and got my first outdoor escape; sun, rain, waves, sand and all. COMPLETE! 
We were previously at the beach from 11 to 4 and then continued swimming in the pool till 6!

And then it was fasting month already. Catching up with friends and loved ones most of the time.

Buka puasa at Dewan Perdana


And then it's Raya and a week after that I was on my flight back to Glasgow! Short short summer. Tsk.

Raya at Linggi with witty family. FREESTYLE!


Time to say goodbye to my girls. ;(
All of us broke our curfews!


'Twas especially hard to say goodbye to him! :'(


This summer was the hardest to get over with. Who knew I would cry every night and morning. It's not like I don't have great friends in Glasgow! 

So now 7 weeks have passed on my first semester as a third year pharmacy student. Frankly speaking all is manageable and I'm not the only one saying that. I'm knowing more and more of my classmates. (Yes I think we're the only class who doesn't know our own mates). 

Aside from that I'm also doing a small business or a new hobby I might say. Hand made JEWELRY! All is doing well although my creativity isn't exactly outstanding. I'm a pharmacy student, what do you expect. 

Birthday present I made for Teera



Some of the rings I make


Hair clips are the easiest! 


A pendant! Look at the wires. Such an amateur! 

Friends have been telling me to do like a blog shop for my jewelries but I don't think that's a good idea. I won't be making deliveries, obviously! What happens if I lost them! Gosh, the horror. So no, now not yet. I've got a feeling it's a bit overpriced but my mum has been telling me "But you've brought it half way across the world so it should be that price!" Okayyyyy.

Putting aside all that, I'm quite occupied! With volunteer work, uni work etc. I can't complain though, I like them! 


LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST!


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Inspiration



GIVE ME INSPIRATION!

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Hit&Run in the Straits


Have you heard on the 'accident' in the Malacca Straits that caused a certain product tanker to burn, with 9 lives feared to be missing?

The first moment I read and saw the pictures, I was thinking to myself, "Where's the other ship? Who knew there would be a hit and run in the Straits as well!"

Not to be feared my friends. They are being halted in Port Dickson for questioning. ;) Hopefully those involved won't be too traumatized with the incident and factors on why it happened in the first place in the busiest strait of the world.

On the side note, Alhamdulillah for the past 2 days there have been no death cases reported on the pandemic virus here. 

(Why am I being sooooo reporter-ish?)

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Happy Belated Birthday, Daddy!



Happy Birthday my dearest Dad!

You have always been my inspiration and a reason for me to excel further in life.

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Force


The one thing in my short list of "Things I remember in my Physics Class" would be force. Mr. Ang, a tall, lanky and soft spoken teacher would repetitively say "F maaaaaaa~" in a typical kampung Chinese intonation. Kononnya to help us with its equation of F=ma. 

That's just a lame intro. ;)

You know you have a watchful force breathing on your neck behind you when you turn into your 20s and decisions for your 'better future' are still made for you, obviously forcefully. But I have to admit it's a little contradicting. You KNOW it's for the better, for the benefit of your 20 to 30 years time (InsyaAllah), but the fact that the WAY you're introduced to the matter of art is a little bit unacceptable. 

It's the same feeling of a child in her primary school. She should be having fun playing tag at school, mural painting, become a scout or something. But the mother wants her to take ballet classes, the father wants her to take kung fu classes, the grandparents think they're overworking her etc. The kid is literally being pushed around for her 'better future'. She's not a thing, not an object you know. 

This also comes from an article I read from NST today; children now are too di-manja-kan, parents being too watchful. In their 'determined' future of success, professionals predict it will happen otherwise. Decision making would be weak when in times it is needed most. In the end, a mistake that is NOT suppose to happen, just happened. 

The same with changing teaching languages every freakin' 5 to 10 years! Wouldn't that actually make the country's future become predictable? 'Mirror, mirror on the wall, bla bla bla bla' is not needed to KNOW that it will become kelam-kabut in terms of choosing a language. Things like these are just like drug or vaccine tests. You need a long duration of time to observe holistically. If not, everything would go WRONG. Ok, that isn't necessarily a good example of a force, it is instead a kind of law. But you get the concept right?

I AM thankful for the effort. But as a person who can think with her own brain and should be able to decide and see what she wants (whether its sooner or later), a sudden drop of a basketful of skills and knowledge can leave you blind, blank and irritated! It's like you're suddenly lost! And with further misunderstanding and manipulation of words, you'll get uberly upset! 

BUT, not until you realise and KNOW, this thingamajig is YOUR thing. That may take a few seconds, minutes, hours, or simply decades.

Live happily.

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Happy Birthday!



Happy very berry belated birthday to my dearest Kaklong!
Bake more yummy muffins and smell like cookies. :D


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Happy 24th Birthday, Azmil!
He who bullies me should lose more weight. Haha!



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Delayed Mourning


That was our last time together. Early June. You did me good protecting me from cold and wet weather. You gave me an illusion of a good figure, only at times. But most of all, I love the way you're wrapped around me just the way I like it. 

Announcing the passing of my favourite jeans, a genuine Evisu skinny jeans that I could still proudly fit into even during crazy, wicked Alton Tower's trip. 

I won't be able to replace you easily. If I could, probably a few inches bigger since you shrink so badly.

p/s: I loved you too much on first sight that you weren't even for sale yet at that time! See, I was the first in Glasgow to ever get you!

RIP


Bowling Tourney. With late boots. RIP boots.


Dancing? In London.


Budget model time in London.


Envied by many?

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Holiday NOW! Now?


My holiday officially starts! Haha lambat tak? Sangat!

Anyway, forgive me for the upmost random and rude entry previously. With all the stress, hormone, bla bla bla that all goes together, you know the cocktail. Makes my ability to think waras-ly go down the drain. It's like I can see myself from afar as if doing what I'll be doing and doing what I think I should do, but knowing that it's wrong and it's just uncontrollable. Jig it? No? Takpa. 

Ended my 6 weeks hospital attachment dah. Which means my SUMMER holiday starts now which ALSO means my gain-your-weight-regiment starts NOW! Waaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa! :'( I'm sure of it! I am!! I will start running again then. Yes I will (and yes I have tapi berhenti sebab.. malas? hehe)

Ok so tonight, I have to start/continue on my games yang tertinggal. Bye!

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Again & Again

Is it wrong for me to say that I'm getting frustrated with everything that's been going on, especially when they go on repeat and shuffle and whatever the fuck the mode is.


We meant what we say when we say we need someone to share our lives with and here I am keeping myself captive. For what? For me to suffer alone? At these times that I need your upmost care and attention, you brush me off and become a mute. Who in their right mind would do what I'm doing, and just stay? No one. Because no, I'm not in my right mind.

And no, I don't fucking care anymore for writing this in my blog for the whole world to read. Because you already know about it. But you're a mute.

My head hurts, not crucially but differently; my body feels tired even after 10 steps, literally speaking; my stomach feels funny that I can't even breathe properly; I cry before I eat because I can't force myself to swallow even one pinch of bread; and that didn't even bother me. Why? Because it bothers me more to not be able to tell you. Why can't I tell you? Because you're a mute. Yes, a mute!

Why do you think this is even the best thing to do?? When it clearly isn't and never has been! 

I'm not perfect!
I need cheesecake!


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