Egg Shells

Sigh dunia dah ber-facebook ni susah betul.

When was ever your silaturrahim with someone is determined by your friends list? Cuba cakap sikit.

I feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Kita nak share 'What's on your mind?' kat status tu pun kena pikir perasaan orang lain sebab kita tau obviously dia akan terasa (sebab dia suka makan cili. Orang makan cili dia la terasa, betul tak?).

And so mula lah conflict diri:
"Eh tulis je lah. Tulis macam biasa je status tu, biar la kalau diorang terasa. Bukannya niat kita pun"


"Eh especially after what happened, it happened for a reason. Allah nak tunjuk kita a few strong points. Oleh itu kena la pikir before tulis status tu. Better not hurt people with your selfish needs. Lagi2 kononnya nak terasa tu diorang lagi tua, haruslah hormati orang tua"

So in the end siapa yang pening? Sila vote.

Saya belia! Hehehe. Katakan TAK NAK ya. #wtf

Yang penting, you can't choose who you want to get attention from. Perlukan kasih sayang tapi selective pulak. Pastu tak dapat, buat tantrum stupid. Beggars can't be choosers. #lagiwtf

"Kalau dah satu group pikir macam tu, memang diorang pergi mana2 pun jalan bawah tempurung diorang jugak". Betul tu, tak keluar2. Bak kata Mr Rama, pikiran tu dah tertutup! (with hand motion)

Yang penting (also), blood is thicker than water. Everyone knows that. Literally speaking and also in terms of family bond. Generally speaking la kan, who wouldn't do anything once they see parents/siblings being hurt, especially when shedding tears. Bukannya hari2 tengok air mata mereka, tapi when it happens, of course as a family member we can't help but feel helpless and tersebak.

Even if diorang tak terasa pun, but because we love them SOOOOOO much, kita pulak yang terasa lebih. I remember some random guy showed his middle finger to my dad. I was like WTF WEYH APA MASALAH KAU TAK RETI RESPECT ORANG TUA KE WEYH. My dad being him, jalan relax je buat tak tau. Ni stranger ni. Kalau kawan buat, memang dah putus kawan dah kita. Tak kisah la middle finger ke apa ke. Yang penting (lagi?) dia dah cross the mother fucking line.

Speaking of blood,

Dah la. I honestly have a lot more to vent out. But feel that its inappropriate. Ni pun dah over dah ni. Its better to keep most of my words than attend to my selfish needs because honestly saya lebih suka hormati orang tua. Like I said, like walking on egg shells.

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Bila kita niat baik, orang tipu belakang, tepek muka kita, pijak kepala kita.
Don't know who to trust dah in my quiet world.

I know I said I didn't sign up for this, but I was prepared as a supporter. And actually without realising it I signed up for the ups and downs, good and bad. (it's not like I'm married or anything, but that's just me as a person). Buat apa nak niat buruk. Penat tau. Baik buat baik je, and all will be ok.

And yet. Look at me. What and where did I go wrong.


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I've gained weight! And reached my target of being a little over 50 kg! :D :D

And so my BMI increased from 18 (underweight) to 21 (ideal?)! Yeayers!

Let's celebrate before it goes back down!!!!!!!!!

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Honesty by Beyonce

If you search
For tenderness
It isn't hard to find
You can have the love
You need to live
But if you look
For truthfulness
You might just
As well be blind
It always seems to be
So hard to give

Is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Is hardly ever heard
And mostly
What I need from you

I can always
Find someone
To say
They sympathize
If I wear my heart
Out on my sleeve
But I don't want
Some pretty face
To tell me
Pretty lies
All I want

Is someone
To believe

I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

When I'm deep
Inside of me
Don't be
Too concerned
I won't ask
For nothin'
While I'm gone
But when I want
Tell me where else
Can I turn
You're the one
That I depend upon

What did I do wrong to deserve such untruthfulness.

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I'm done with my final paper or final year, ever!!!!

Whoopieee dooo daaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!

Jom keluar ini malam. Tadi dah lepak2 ngan classmates. hoyeahhhhh.

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Ok so I'm sooooooo kuno. And so I've only just re-re-re-rediscovered my forgotten password for skype. EHEHEH. During Ayesha's birthday, A, Dania and I decided to SKYPE!!! Such a dumbo I am, semua benda tak reti. So here are the NICE pictures. They took soooooo many pictures of me in my bimbo mode.


When the sun was glaring (only on my side of the globe) we decided to have picnic!

Later that night when D was snoozing off, A was past her bedtime but decided to continue on.

Anywayyyy, Tuesday will be Day 1 of my final finals. DAMN! Did I tell you it'll be four of them on consecutive days?? Siiigh, I'll be dead by Friday. Yawwwww.

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