Frustration
The feeling of not able to turn anywhere and just be myself and just be on my own. To just let your emotions go and allow them to burst. Sometimes I feel like walking around town at night, but I don't live by the river anymore to get fresh air. And I don't take nicotine anymore like the Cheryl Tweedy in me, so that's a bit worthless. Can't even cry in the rain cause its too cold! Haha.
I was really really, extremely upset yesterday with a friend who's forgotten his promise. It's not what I would call a 'promise' but if I say the word then I'd let the cat out of the bag. And I don't want that to happen because he's a good friend of mine. I needed to get it out of my system, but to whom? Not anyone here, or the news would start again. Fuck, this is complicated. I hate that trait of him. What the fuck is he thinking of now?? Is he just going to take advantage of all this??
I'm not the type of person to confront someone. Unless it's really extreme. I'm not a strong person. I'll be the helpless ostrich among the bunch, slamming my head into the ground just to hide away from problems and thinking they would solve on their own. I can't even be strong for my friends even when they needed me the most. And I'll be the selfish one to look for their comfort and support. I'm talking bull crap.
I feel like I need my own space, to just be alone, to keep in touch with myself. And now I miss my lone-ventures. Going to new places and breathe in their air and not care of anything. I went through the pictures of me going to Devon, they were gorgeous. I miss the places. Memories are only excuses. These, are good experiences.
Hate is more of what I'm feeling now.
2 paints:
You know theres too many people to list down that cares for you .
I happen to be one of them .
You know you can turn to me about/for absolutely anything at all .
You've been off the radar lately and I can only wonder why .
But when you're ready to talk , let out , bitch , cry or even be in denial , I'm a tweet/whatsapp/pingchat/call/text away .
You're too kind of a person .
I would tell you to confront this motherfucker but I know better .
(I can confront him for you though)
You're a strong person Sayang .
Thats why you stick around bullshits .
I would have given them a bitch slap and walk away .
You're patient , extremely patient .
You were there when I needed you most .
So dont you ever say that you werent there for your friends when they need you .
Remember how many times you called me from Glasgow just to hear me cry ?
Dont put yourself down .
Please take care .
I'll pray for you to go on that vacation alone (even if I'm jealous but I'm nice so I'm just gonna pray) .
Kesimpulannya , REPLY ME !
Missing you :'(
Thank you, as always. :'[
Miss you too.
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