When will I Learn

"You look mature for your age. You think maturely." 

Those are the words I commonly get from lecturers and some of many bosses I work for at the hospital.

Being an intern makes you think more and more about yourself. You think you can gain experience and knowledge. NO, you believe so and of course you gain them. Nonetheless, at the same time you think how small you are, how shallow your knowledge is to the world of your future profession. 

When will I learn how to think professionally? When will I learn how to think seriously of my future? All this while I assume I've been thinking seriously. However, have I really? I feel like my way of thinking haven't changed since school, how I study, how I handle things. I feel as if my scope of knowledge hasn't widen. Will I ever grow up and cope with what I've targeted for for years?

It took me 2 years of my course to really really realise that this is it. This isn't college where you study and work hard only to be able to study elsewhere better. NO. This is a higher target. You study so that you can be what you want to be for a lifetime. Knowing and realising while acknowledging it is different. Very.

My words are simple; feeling so is even more complex and deeper.



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