Thankful, Grateful, Regretful?
Thankful?
Yes, my 2nd year is hopefully over with!! I had 3 days straight with killer papers. While we saw each class enjoy their last paper with champagne the moment they step out of the 'hell' hall, we complain of how an ass the paper was instead. And I couldn't imagine I would be in this position right now, a position with no more exams for the year! With my body getting used to only 3 hours of sleep, I now can't sleep more than 3 hours when I want to. Sad, I know. Especially when now you have no more reading to do. But then that's fine. There are always other stuffs to do.
Grateful?
Even after sleepless nights during exam, post-exam is still as tiring. I'm helping out on a particular event here, just for fun and experience. It would look good as a volunteer work on my resume too, hehe. And at these times I sometimes wonder why others would choose otherwise, on not to volunteer, in any particular work, event, concert, gig or charity. Because these are one of the moments when I feel upmost grateful of the people around me. You can get tired of working, but you never get tired of enjoying and laughing do you? I don't.
Regretful?
Am I regretful? I was thinking is this the right thing for me to do? Would being far away from loved ones be worth it? Would my actions now give bitter impressions and disgust from people? Would I be saying "I shouldn't have done this, and go with the others instead" in the future when I start working, when I get married, when I have my own kids? Would I doubt whether I've taken the right path at this current time?
Everyone experiences different things with different sets of people. From that they learn and mould how they will be in time to come. And if I judge from how I think I have the best parents around, then no, I'm not regretful. I'm all of that but regretful. Of course people who live far away from their families would agree with me when I say "I do feel sorry being half way across the world and not able to share the same hour with them", but we dream and we chase them.
Its not about being selfish. Our time comes now and their time may be later.
And we would be as grateful and thankful as they are now.
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